Fuckery.News

Florida Man Calls 911 To Find Drake And Lil Wayne!!!

Due To Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

FELLSMERE, Fla. – 911 dispatchers answered the line Wednesday to a man asking them to “Find Drake, find Lil Wayne,” Fellsmere police say.

“They know who I am,” the Fellsmere man told operators, according to an arrest report.

The man hung up, and when dispatchers called him back, he allegedly told them to figure out the movie “IT, the scary movie.”

WPTV is not identifying the man because records show he has mental health needs.

Fellsmere officers went to the man and told him he cannot call 911 unless it is an emergency. Shortly after the officers left, he called 911 twice.

This time, he reportedly asked to speak with President Trump. Officers returned and arrested the man for misusing 911. He was taken to the Indian River County Jail.
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Gotta love crazy 911 calls, we’ve seen our fare share of them over the past years, this one is good but we’ve seen a lot better!!!

see also:Man Calls 911 After Break In Claims ‘This Is Jesus Christ And I Just Broke Into Pizza Hut’!!

see also:Connecticut Man Calls 911 About Clam Chowder 4 Times!!!

see also:Woman Calls 911 To Complain That Her Chicken Nuggets Weren’t Cooked Fast Enough!!!

see also:Man Calls 911 For A Ride To Hooters!!

source:wptv.com

Judge Admits He’s A Serial Underwear Stealer!!!

If a college student who stole over 650 pairs of underwear out of dorm rooms received only 10 days in jail for that incident of fuckery, what do you think a judge who has some power and political clout will receive??

see also:Former Notre Dame Student Receives 10 Days Jail Time For Stealing 650 Pairs Of Women’s Underwear Out Of Dorms!!

source:abc13.com

Man in custody after baby taken to hospital in critical condition

This story is just down right sad!!! Everything this man was upset with are things that come with the territory of having a kid…

source:krqe.com

Man Brutally Beats 4 Month Old !!

Malcolm Howard, 22, of East Garfield Park, was arrested Thursday and charged with aggravated battery to a child. He allegedly beat the infant because he was “frustrated that the victim would not stop crying,” according to Assistant State’s Attorney Julia Ramirez.

A witness who lives in the building told police they heard a baby crying and saw Howard swing his arms violently and throw something across the room. They said the boy stopped crying after Howard grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against a wall, according to prosecutors.

The witness said when they confronted Howard, he said he could do whatever he wanted because the victim was his son. Howard then carried the infant by the arm to the front living room and put him on a couch, Ramirez said.

The victim’s mother said she didn’t see any visible injuries and that the baby was acting normally when she arrived home around midnight, according to court documents.

However, the boy would not eat and began to spit up blood and mucus the next morning.
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This witness should of taken a swipe at this man, nevertheless it’s a good thing that this man intervened…

source:chicagotribune.com

In closing:

Honestly if these two would of read all the hand outs parents receive during infant doctor visits they would know that a babies cry is their only way to communicate that there’s something wrong on their end… Yes sometimes it takes some troubleshooting to get down to what the problem is but that’s part of the gig!! We at humanfuckery.com have both of these kids in our thoughts and prayers, hopefully the both survive!!

We will be taking a short hiatus until next week in observance of Easter!!!

See you next week!!

(Originally Posted 9/14/2017)

Racism Is American As Baseball!!

This fuckery speaks for itself!!!

source:nbcboston.com

Mother Attempts To Decapitate Son With Bow Saw!!!

Who cares if this mother doesn’t have a criminal record, she attempted to saw her kid’s head off!!! Yes, this lady may have had a mental break down but she still should be jailed for a lengthy period or maybe for the rest of her life!! There is no doubt that this poor child will be scarred from this fuckery for the rest of his life!!!

see also:10 Year Old Autistic Girl Found Locked In Cage!!!

see also:Mother Faces Life In Prison After 4 Year Old With Autism Was Bound With 7 Belts, Set On Fire In Bathtub!!!

see also:Parents Attempt To Cure Autism By Using Bleach???

see also:NJ Mom Abandoned 10 Year Old Special Needs Boy In Woods!!!

source:wjla.com

Pigs Bully Domino’s Manager Over Undelivered Pizza!!!

(1) Dominos’s pizza is not good enough for these two pigs to be acting like this, (2) follow the appropriate chain of command like the rest of us when we have to complain about customer service, and (3) Wait a min…. These two got suspended for this fuckery… Honestly, we could see these two losing their jobs over this, which would be kinda crazy with officer being able to hold their jobs after shooting and killing unarmed people….

see also:Security Footage Captures Dominio’s Pizza Delivery Driver Eating Pizza Toppings Off Pizza Out For Delivery!!!

source:nbcnewyork.com

Florida Woman Has Love Child With Brother!!!

Excerpt From Article:

Pauline Elizabeth Martin, 33, told investigators she and her brother were living as a couple in Groveland when she became pregnant with his child, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

Authorities said they began investigating the woman, who is a McDonald’s cashier, after the baby was born Nov. 21 with “severe medical problems.”

The newborn was immediately transferred to get specialized care at Winnie Palmer Hospital for Children in Orlando, where genetic testing revealed the parents were related, the Daily Commercial reported.

Neither parent completed the information on the baby’s birth certificate, according to authorities.

Deputies interviewed the mom at her workplace last week in Leesburg, and she allegedly admitted she has been romantically involved with her brother for the past five years. The siblings reportedly last had sex March 21.
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There is no excuse for any women to retort to fucking their brother nowadays with all these thirsty dudes in this world you ladies shouldn’t have any problems finding action or bagging you a dude!! Nevertheless there’s nothing much more to say about these two but that they’re the epitome of human fuckery!!!

see also:Alabama Man Raped, Impregnated Mentally Incapacitated Sister!!!

see also:Oklahoma Woman Who Married Mother After Two “Hit It Off” Pleads Guilty To Incest!!

source:nypost.com

I’ve Been Poisoned Only Sex Can Save Me!!

Excerpt From Article:

The police summary of facts states the man went to the woman’s home, “red faced and bent over holding his ribs” and told her he had been beaten up and forced to drink a vial of toxin.

He told her he would die unless he didn’t sweat it out within 48 hours. She suggested he go for a run but he said that wouldn’t work as he had to sweat it out in a “particular way”. He told her there was no antidote as the person who beat him up was flying overseas.

Shortly after, she began getting emails from an unknown email address appearing to verify his story.

The emails instructed her to perform sexual acts on the man four times and have sexual intercourse three times within the 48-hour period, to exhaust the toxin from his system.

The summary said the woman only consented because she believed the man’s life was in danger.

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Simple solution that this woman could have done is call the authorities as soon as this man came to her home!!!

source:nzherald.co.nz

Man Steals Harley 20 Mins After Man Crashes!!

Excerpt From Article:

Alton Manley was traveling west March 12 in the 3800 block of Southwest College Road when he was cut off and laid down the bike. He was helped by bystanders and the Harley was pushed into the median. When a family member came to get the motorcycle about 20 minutes later, it was gone.

Manley was later released from the hospital. In the meantime, OPD put out an alert about the stolen motorcycle

According to OPD officials, Joseph Biernacki and a woman were evidently living in the tent. Public Information Officer Meghan Shay said Biernacki confessed to Detective Joshua Fried that he took the motorcycle and said it was the “way out of Florida” for the two of them.

Burgos stated in his report that Biernacki had been driving the bike around “for five days and found it weird he hadn’t been pulled over, even when he drove by them on a stolen motorcycle.” Biernacki “thought the motorcycle was already stolen and that is why the original driver left it after he crashed it.
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Cant make this fuckery up folks!! What type of person sees an abandoned Harley on the side of the road and scoops it up like it’s a prized buck who unfortunately got hit by a car, THIS GUY!!!

source:ocala.com